Many of these drinks were all devised on strange, strange nights at Larry's Bar, Grille, and Seminar. A wonderful place, with some crazy bartenders. Read on, if your stomache be strong enough!
Alternately called "The Margarita del Jorge," if you think I deserve the "the." 1 part anejo tequila (agave worm optional) juice of one lime bar salt 2 pickled jalapeno peppers
Shake mezcal and lime juice over ice, strain and put in a margarita glass with salted rim. Add jalapenos, along with some of the pickling juice if desired. Enjoy!
1 part Southern Comfort 1 part Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum 1 Part Coffee Liquor 2 parts Cream Soda mint sprigs (if desired)
Pour all ingredients over ice, stir, garnish if desired, enjoy.
The actual contents of this drink are a closely kept family secret, guarded by the mystique surrounding his traditional familial style of martial arts which incorporates the much rumored and misunderstood "double fisted flying butt noogie." Suffice to say, the drink uses lots of black pepper, horseradish, lemon, lime, and pepper sauce to create a true sensory experience. Stoli is the vodka of choice for the base.
One buttload (English or Metric) of Absolut Vodka (10 oz./person)
(Optionally, any Ukrainian vodka can be used.)
One CD by the Ukrainians: "Vorony"
Play track #10 ("Durak") on the CD. At every point in the song where "Ja ne durak..." is sung, do a shot. That's eight shots. Then, at the end of the song (2:52 into it), do two more for good measure during the closing waltz. Officially, there must be at least 3 participants... 10 shots each in 3 minutes, 23 seconds! An excellent start to any evening!
2 parts Rumple Minze (peppermint schnapps) 2 parts cinnamon schnapps 1 part spiced rum 1 part grenadine 4-6 maraschino cherries
Mix schnapps, rum, and grenadine over ice. Pour into rocks glass. Garnish with cherries. Then try to figure out the confusion your taste buds are experiencing!
Jagermeister maraschino cherries bar sugar
Fill sugar-rimmed snifter half full with cherries. Coat liberally with Jager. (Traditionally, the last sip of this drink should involve taking at least 5 (five) cherries into your mouth simultaneously.
This was the drink that started it all... and the precursor to the Shirley Rectum. 2 part Rumple Minze 1 part spiced rum 2 parts white zinfandel 2-3 maraschino cherries
Mix schnapss and zinfandel over ice and serve in rocks glass. Garnish with cherries.
The Mk. II had the zinfandel replaced with cinnamon schnapps, but the grenadine had not yet found its place into the concoction.
(I like mine heavy on the "B")
3 parts brandy
2 parts Benedictine
1-2 parts of any of the following:
Grand Marnier
Frangelico
Cherry Marnier
Mix and serve in snifter at room temperature. Great winter drinks!
2 parts amaretto 2 parts tequilla or vodka 1 part 151-proof rum
Pour amaretto into rocks glass. Float tequilla or vodka on amaretto. Float rum on top, ignite, and serve. The management recommends blowing out the flame before drinking.
2 parts mezcal 2 parts cheap-ass whiskey (e.g. Jim Beam) juice of 1/2 lime
Mix on the rocks, strain, and shoot!
4 parts gold tequilla (e.g. Curevo Especial or 1800) 2 parts melon liquor 1 part spiced rum 1 part triple sec dash gin (optional)
Add ingredients together in rocks glass, stir, serve, gulp, wheeze, and finally gasp. A true experience for your palette.
2 parts spiced rum 1 part sloe gin 1 part Southern Comfort 1 part melon liqour 1 part pineapple juice
Pour all ingredients into a tall glass over ice, mix, and serve. You know you've made this drink properly if the color is a putrid form of chunky off-red.
2 parts Ouzo 3 parts sour mix maraschino cherries
Shake over ice, serve strained with cherries. Yuck.
1 part 151-proof rum 1 part Wild Turkey whiskey 1 part Jagermeister 1 part 101-proof cinnamon schnapps
Take a rocks glass and fill (to rim) with all ingredients. To be served right at the bar (since the fill-to-rim prevents effective moving before drinking) and at room tepmerature. Convince yourself that you haven't been hit by a 2x4. Visit restroom (or convenient alternative) quickly (as the ingredients prevent effective moving approx. 20 minutes after imbibing). Be sure to at all costs avoid a walk home along 19th Avenue during this time. CAUTION: any attempt to help a friend try to work the keys to his apartment during this time will generally be futile at best, but may provide comic relief to onlookers.
Peppermint schnapps can be subsititued for the cinnamon fort a different taste and "finish".
5 parts gin (I prefer Beefeater) 1 part dry vermouth 1 pickled egg bar onions pepper
Shake gin and vermouth over ice; strain into martini glass. Garnish with heavily peppered egg and multiple bar onions.
Special "thanks" to my research assistants Leland Rogers, Krishna, Brian "Kai" Cooper, Kevin Urbanek, Nik Palmer, Jeff Hustey, Prasenjit Ray, Bohdan Kolcio, Katja Pylyshenko, and Bill Simoni all of whom were instrumental in the creation of one or more of the above atrocities.
This page originally created 3 February 1997 and updated 20 April 2004.