You know...   You would think that keeping your mouth shut might be a pretty good thing to do at times and in fact it can be. Those of us that read Phil Simmon's book, Learning to Fall,  enjoyed a chapter that extolled the virtues of silence.  I believe the actual quote was something like ..  "Before you open your mouth, consider first whether it is an improvement over silence". But I also know,  that silence really can speak volumes. When we fail to speak, the vacuum is filled by the voices of others, others speaking for us.

In the matter of Open and Affirming, there is a prevailing attitude that nothing special needs to be said or needs to be done and that silence is perhaps the appropriate response. I have heard often  right here in this church  things like "they are welcome here" or "why do they need something special?"  In effect, saying we only need to continue our comfortable silence. Yet, this silence says nothing to the gay Christians. Nothing that is... except that maybe nothing has changed at all. Maybe we are just as others say we are. Those looking for a friendly home, looking for a faith community where they will be welcome, looking for a church where they will not be seen as sinner, do not know they are welcome. And beyond that, our silence has a much greater far reaching effect on society in general. Our silence only serves to allows the more vocal right wing to speak for "the Christian". Christian churches have opposed the acceptance of gays for so long and with such vibrato that congregations which are welcoming must make known their change of mind and  their repentance of homophobia.

Simply stated, an Open and Affirming stance is indication of  just such a change. Here is something that Christians can work together to accomplish, a chance to make a difference, work for justice, and influence this world we live in, in a very real way. Until congregations have the courage to honestly face this issue, work to understand it and make necessary changes, it is doubtful that they will ever realize how important it is. The conventional wisdom has always been that "We don't exclude anyone". But far more than accepting or tolerating the gay Christian, congregations need to understand the issue and state their openness showing that other Christian organizations do not speak for them. They must ensure there is absolutely no doubt as to where they stand, and as Christians, fully welcome their Gay brothers and sisters in Christ.

Now I want to take you back a few years to October 12th 1998 when I learned that Matthew Shepard died. Perhaps some of you remember him but I suspect most of you are asking "who is Matt Shepard?"  He was a 21 year old young man attending college in Wyoming who just a few days earlier was brutally beaten, then tortured, and then finally left stretched along a prairie fence in the bitter cold,  left to die for no reason other than he was gay, lynched to make a statement. Somehow this slight 105 pound kid and his sexual orientation was a threat to two thugs that left him for dead.

The day of his beating turned out to be a pivotal one in my life and to my surprise, I cried that night I heard the news. Once again this tragic murder raised a national  debate, the kind of periodic wrenching and soul-searching our society goes through whenever a crime of hate opens our eyes and disturbs our comfort. Hateful graffiti, the burning of a church, The dragging death of a black man in Texas, the bombing in Oklahoma City, the death of a shy young man from Wyoming: these events suddenly shake us out of our complacency and remind us that fear, prejudice and rage are always lurking in the dark shadows just beyond the light of our reason. Ready to strike with angry ugliness. And at these times, people suddenly start to speak out. Through the tears and disbelief, there are voices of outrage and grief. Voices of sorrow and demands to know why such a thing could happen. And predictably, there are also the defensive voices: there are governors explaining why their states have no laws to protect people from hate crimes and the leadership of what is called the "religious right", like the Reverends Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson, feebly try to explain why their inflammatory national ads against homosexuality don't breed an atmosphere of hatred and why they don't influence people to commit such violence against gays and lesbians. And worse yet, there are those that capitalize on incidents like Matt's death to promote their hate as we heard of how one such minister said he wanted to show God's intolerance.  As Time magazine put it... "While his family prepared for his burial and spoke of Shepard's gentleness and tolerant ways, a Kansas minister with a website called godhatesfags.com made plans to do a grave dance at the funeral." Now...  think about the message that gives to our young people.  Who is to say what is the real cost of our silence?

For days after this tragic event, there were many voices filling our media as our collective conscience struggled with what had happened until, sadly, once again we are lulled into the familiar patterns of our lives,  dozing off as a nation and as a church until the next tragedy rings the alarm of despair.

I now ask you to consider Matthew's death in another way. Not through those denials or the shouts or cries of anger: but rather, through the silence of his death, the silence of that young man hanging on his cross of pain alone in the emptiness of a freezing Wyoming night, the silence that ultimately killed him as surely as the beatings he endured.

Silence killed Matthew Shepard. The silence of Christians just like us, who know that the scriptures on homosexuality are few and unclear at best and as with much of the ancient wording in the Bible, open to interpretation. We also know it is far outweighed by the clear words of Christ whose only comment on human relationships was to call us to never judge but only to love. It has always amazed me how a few passages in the bible are used to support ones own opinion or worse, their agenda, while references to slavery or suppression of women are conveniently no longer seen as relevant. Matt was killed by the silence of educated well meaning people who pretend to have an enlightened view of homosexuality while quietly tolerating the abuse of gays and lesbians in their own communities. The silence of our elected officials who have the ability to make changes but are more interested in their reelection. The silence of  all of us that know that gays and lesbians may really be no different from the rest of us, except for the fact that they are targets for hate, bigotry, disrespect, cheap jokes, and sadly, even murder.

Crimes of hate may explode with shouts of rage and anger, but make no mistake about it, they are born in silence...  our silence. I hope we will hear the silence. A young man's heart has ceased to beat. Hear that silence and it's awful truth. It is the silence born in hatred and the silence of death. Here in New Hampshire, as in Wyoming, there is so much beauty all about us. Beauty that God has blessed us with yet, we are also  surrounded by the silence of our own fear. Our fear of those who are different. Our fear of taking an unpopular stance for the sake of those who can not stand alone. Our fear of social change. Our fear of religious change. Our fears come in many forms but they always come silently. Be it a whispered joke. A quick glance away to avoid looking at the truth. A shake of the head as we deny any involvement in the pain of others. These silent acts of our own fear of homosexuality are acted out in this community every day just as they are acted out every day in Wyoming and elsewhere. Through the power of silence, we give ourselves permission to practice what we pretend to abhor. With our silence, we continue to condemn our neighbors to live in the shadows of hate. In silence, we observe the suffering of any group of people who have been declared expendable by our society.

Make no mistake...  Open and Affirming is not something that is done for me or about me. It is rather about this congregation doing what is right and furthermore, it is about witnessing Christ's love as we reach out and touch the lives of those in our community and beyond. I try to live my life with one simple rule and that is to do what is right. But that is not always an easy path to travel and often one that is not clear. It is then that I rely on a simple but powerful little test. That's when I ask myself that question we have heard so often; What would Jesus do?  I know we will all hear different answers to that question but those answers will always guide us in the right direction.

The next time we are fortunate enough to witness a baptism here, consider the possibilities. In that innocent life are all the possibilities we can imagine. All the dreams and all the hopes of their parents, their family, and of this congregation. Yet, if we are silent, then who will it be that influences that child? Who will it be that they look up to and try to emulate by example?  What happens to that child that just might grow up to be the next Matt Shepard facing hatred alone. Or even more likely, grow up knowing all to well and being at ease with anger, hate and bigotry to perhaps be like the ones who now wait in prison convicted of his murder.

We find change and growth to be innately discomforting. We all tend to cling to the comfort we find in traditions, the status quo, the way it always has been, the path of least resistance. But in that frozen form, where we are perhaps paralyzed by our fear of the unknown, we will also find spiritual and moral death.  How can we sit cocooned in our comfortable silence and wait for others to do the heavy lifting of the work of transformation? Who is better suited to lead the way and fill that silence with words of love? As Mahatma Gandhi said, "We must be the change we wish to see."

We in the United Church of Christ have distinguished ourselves from many denominations that stubbornly cling to the beliefs and actions that have always been a part of their churches. We have courageously taken it upon ourselves to right the wrongs of the past and to walk in the ways of Christ, to reflect His love...
 

By Jim Swanson 4-26-2001