A guy applied to join a nudist club. "Exactly what do you do here?" he asked. "It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We take off all our clothes and commune with nature."

"Cool," said the guy, "...count me in!!!" So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, "Beware  of Gays." A little further along he saw another sign which read the same thing "Beware of Gays." He continued walking until he came to a small clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground. He bent over to read the plaque and it said, "Sorry,... You've had two warnings!"
 

Four men went golfing together one day; three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a Cadillac."

The second man told the others, "My son is a home builder and he's so successful that he gave a friend a new home - for free."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son is a stock broker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay. I'm not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a car, a house, and a stock portfolio."
 

The Rev. Jerry Falwell has stepped in to clean up children's television. He has just outed Tinky Winky, from that perverted show the "Teletubbies," because, Falwell pronounced, the character is clearly a fount of gayness: He's purple, the gay color; he has an antenna shaped like a triangle, the gay symbol; and he carries a purse, something all gay people do.

But Falwell's work is far from over. You see, kiddy TV is downright rife with gayety. Heck, Toon Town is like one big circuit party and has been for years.

Fred Flintstone
Evidence: His nickname on the Bedrock bowling team: "Twinkle-toes Flintstone." The show's theme song ends "...we'll have a gay old time!" Wears an orange dress with little triangles on it. Hangs out with Barney far more than Wilma.

Bugs Bunny
Evidence: Often stands with hand on hip. Plays a hairdresser in one episode. Frequently dresses in drag. Loves to throw on a top hat and tails and belt out Broadway show-tunes with his buddy Daffy -- who, it's worth noting, has a lisp.

Velma (of Scooby Doo)
Evidence: Always tries to sit next to Daphne in the Mystery Machine. Sports that butch haircut. Has broad shoulders and wears thick turtleneck-sweaters and knee socks. Never once shagged Shaggy.

Popeye
Evidence: Eats lots of salad. Wears a sailor suit, even though he hasn't been on a ship in years. Does little sailor-dances. Dates a flat-chested transvestite named Olive Oyl. Best friend named Wimpy.

Batman and Robin
Evidence: Robin's nickname: Boy Wonder. Batman's real name: Bruce. Both wear tights. They're in great shape. They like to show each other their "grappling hooks."

Peppermint Patty
Evidence: Has a deep, gravelly voice. Wears pants, not dresses like the other Peanuts gals. Plays a mean game of football. Likes to taunt Charlie Brown. Always hanging out with that androgynous Marcie. Wears comfortable shoes. Nickname: Sir.
 

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, "Give me six double vodkas." The bartender says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife..."

An employee of USAir with the last name of Gay boarded a US Air flight with a free travel voucher. Soon after he sat down, someone else came and claimed he had the same seat assignment, so Mr. Gay moved down do an empty seat.

Soon after that the airplane began to fill up. The rule with the US Air employee vouchers is that if a paying customer needs your seat, you have to surrender it. So when the flight became completely full and still more needed to get on, a flight attendant went to the original seat of Mr. Gay and said the the man now sitting there, "Excuse me, are you Gay?"

The man, somewhat stunned, said, "Well, yes, as a matter of fact I am!"

The flight attendant said, "I'm sorry, but you'll have to get off the plane."

At this point Mr. Gay, who had been watching all of this, jumped up and said, "Excuse me, you've made a mistake - I'm Gay!"

Finally, another man jumped up and said, "Well, hell, I'm gay too! They can't throw us all off!"
 

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster to copulate with his chickens. The farmer puts the rooster straight in the pen so he can get down to business. The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says "OK, old fellow, time to retire." The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chickens....look at what it did to me!" The young rooster replies, "Now, don't give me a hassle about
this. Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a  hike." The old rooster says, "Aw, c'mon.....just let me have the two old  hens over in the corner. I won't bother you," The young rooster says, "Scram! Beat it! You're washed up! I'm taking over!" So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race with you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gets domain of the chicken coop. And if I'm so feeble, why not give me a little head start?" The young rooster says, "Sure, why not, you know I'll still beat  you." They line up in back of the farmhouse, get a chicken to cluck "Go!" and the old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The  farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what's going on, grabs his shotgun and BOOM!, he shoots the young rooster dead. He shakes his head gloomily and says to his wife "Son of a bitch...third gay rooster I bought this week!"

A class of elementary students wanted to make a planter to take home and wanted to have a plant that was easy to take care of in it so it was decided to use cactus plants. the students planted the cactus seeds in the planters and they grew nicely but unfortunately were not allowed to take them home.  The cactus plants were removed and a small ivy replaced them and the children were then allowed to take them home.

Two of a kind beats a straight
Why be Normal?
The Christian Right is Neither
If you can't Change your mind, Do you still have one?
Minds are like Parachutes, they only function when open
pink sheep of the family
mean people suck, not in a good way
My daughter came out of the closet and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
Don't think of it as losing a son - think of it as gaining another
I can't even think straight
Even my teeth aren't straight
Nobody Knows I'm gay
That's mister faggot to you
Closets are for clothes
I'm an incurable romantic homosexual
I'm a man's man
I'm not gay but my boyfriend is
I'm gay and so is my boyfriend
I'm one too
God loves me the way I am. Gay
I'm straight, but it might be just a phase
Gay: Happy