Coax for the Hoax – Damn!! that was FUN!! It’s not like we tried to talk you into it. It’s not like we promised you the most well-supported, most organized, most ego-building, and richest purse in ultrarunning. Rather, didn’t we hint that we’d be more of an anathema to mainstream (whatever the flock that is…) ultrarunning? Worthless yard sale / thrift store / motel crap in your goodie bags, still more of the same to be dispensed over the weekend based on your “performance” (oooh, oooh, anxiety!! anxiety!!) on and off the trails, daily oppor’y to dish out verbal scat to your dirt buddies (you to yourselves, we to you, but never you to us…)? all hidden behind some fantastic dirt miles on delicious coastal trails!! And it was this last piece that overrode all the warning bells going off in your head that brought you to C4P…
Spokes to the Strokes – You got your thrills coming off our Blueberry Hills, didn’t you? And since helicopter service isn’t that cheap yet, we forced you to trudge the hills before you could fly/slip-slide down ‘em. And you had a blast in both directions, even with the swirling snow and horizontal rain… Depending on the advertised accuracy of the toy, Ojai offered about 12,500, PMSP about two-thirds and half, respectively. Gridley, White Ledge, TopaTopa, The Bitch, Fossil, Tri-Peaks, Fire Line, Cardiac, and Mugu complemented by Lions Canyon, Pratt/Cozy Dell, Boney/Backbone, Fireline, MultiPurpose, and the ever-splendid, incomparable Ray Miller, Ray Miller, Ray Miller. If you were on a flat for more than a couple hundred yards, you were off the official course. And except for joints talking back (e.g., TropJohn’s giraffe and McNair’s gazelle knees), your quads and hams loved the push, eh? Tough to get find such exquisite early season training, isn’t it? Ventura County by 2010 will be to ultrarunning what San Diego was to triathlons in the early ‘80’s – a veritable mecca!!
Blokes and their Jokes – If nothing else, C4P generates more facial than butt cheek exercise – and most of that exercise is of the spontaneous variety, rather than something we plan. Sure, you might have known about the beanie hats, but who would’ve guessed the big dogs would fight over not being first? that Scott would still be coveting Luis’ crock pot? that Canada even lets an Olaf live there, much less lets him loose as an international translator? that The Horton would actually look pretty sexy in a pair of kitten panties? that American Idol would be scouting our Cowgirls cum Alley Floozies? that someone besides Barb could twirl a baton with such flair? that you’d shell out $40 for a bowling shirt, and actually wear it? (and I’d bet they show up as casual wear at finish lines in ultras this year…) Beyond being forewarned that YOU would be the entertainment, every one of you entertained each other. We JABOYs just had the pleasure of watching the show…
Folks with the Yolks – I’m so bummed y’all hogged all of Hog and Jerry’s breakfast buffet!! I don’t know another event that has such welcome variety in support of your efforts. Wild Bill’s ridgeline burritos, finish line tacos, and Crossroads bonfire in the rain… Following the open bar at the bottom, Hog ‘n Jerry’s double-pass hunters’ feast at the top of Gridley… Maria and Ron consoling you after the TopaTopa siege… Charlie and Chewy’s slice of heaven in Rose Valley (finally found it this year, eh, Sally ‘n Rob?)… Sook’s grill at the bottom of Cozy Dell… Sook and Maria talking your ears off after the Coyote trail, and lining your path with panties in Sunday’s storm… Brandon squirreled away inside the tent cranking out the grilled cheese, and Craig being way too accommodating to fill your bottles, while y’all postured on the podium below Butt Crack… The fine gents of Sam’s Saloon fixin’ up a right fine beebeekew throughout Sunday’s bluster… Volunteer radio guys queuing up months in advance, for the thrill of hiking miles with their equipment, to watch y’all (in their minds) punish your bodies – and a simple “thank you” inspires them to return… H’ard naively yet ur-competently willing to tackle all the front-end headaches of planning for your participation… Smilin’ Mike unselfishly helping me stay sane way too early in the morning / way too late at night, and doing more for you behind the scenes than I could think of doing in front… All, the unique characteristics of the characters who comprise the JABOYs, a slowly growing, small cadre of devoted trail dudes and their buddies who’re nuts enough to want to watch you have fun once a year on their trails… And most visibly, long after your shoes are cleaned of Ventura mud and your brain complaining of too many events to keep track of, the C4P billboard you flash of the fine attire most generously provided by Patagonia and Montrail – thnx bushels and pecks, Craig and Krissy!!
Stokes ‘n Pokes – OK, so here’s a summary of the results, with the larger database spread out in the attached Excel sheets (in the pace column, don’t let the lack of “:” confuse you; using the “.” as separator retains the integrity of the conversion from decimal in the previous column to seconds measure in the last (huh?)). Four of the Scrub runners (H’ard, Jeff, Phil, Blake) logged the full 198 miles for the week. Krissy, both by her doggedness and incredible sense of (mis)direction, actually logged the most miles (134) for the “official” C4P days (Sunday’s miles recognized as 29-33, in a couple variations). A record 11 people did the full official miles – had Luanne made the teaser, and Joe not skipped the 40 (couldn’t’ve been because of his stand-up routine on Friday night, cuz that took KAHUNAs to stand up solo in front of YOU…), it’d’ve been 13. Twenty-four logged 100 (Chris squeaked in cuz he negotiated well on Sunday…), and that ain’t a bad week’s log, is it? Lee Jebian’s back prevented him from running, but he and Wini still logged some miles during the day (let’s see, ~$200 divided by 4… how’s that for bang for the buck!?!), smiled and laughed their way through many more at night… Oh, and yes, once again, that curly-haired dude from Rainville had the fastest pace for the weekend (kell soo-preez!! (did I say that right, Martha?)), and still skitted away from getting a beanie hat every day. More importantly, 72 terrific people showed up to play and run, and all did just that!!
Finally, so you can escape this gibberish and get to the data, some will notice I tinkered with your numbers. For example, TropJohn’s mileage otherwise should have looked like Lisa’s, but for having robbed us all of Lisa/Laura/Chris’ fine company on Sunday, his mileage suffers accordingly. Further, Jeff’s Sunday time has been improved (from 6:27 to 6:15, so that his overall pace will be faster than H’ard’s for the week (3 years in a row as Head Trail Marker for the Scrub is a slim excuse for staying at the head of the pack)). Some other places, H’ard and I just made up numbers. But as you all know, what I write here and what you write in your own log book need not reconcile…
Chokes – One last comment… While we know C4P has some unique characteristics/ characters (both of which we revel in), its basic premise is quite simple – set aside a few days to run with your buddies and their buddies, and make a point of convening at night so that all can share in the day’s experience. You don’t need me to parse that equation any further to see the beauty of that formula. So, while H’ard and I dink with our own formula to see how we can retain C4P’s character for next year – on the idea that you and a herd of your friends may swoop down on us and complicate the logistics of having too much fun – I strongly urge you to exercise the basic premise in your local area (even you have thrift stores, so “value added” should be as simple…). Marie & Andy Boyd are doing it in Bishop (Phil created an awesome slide-show one evening last year); Scott has his multi-day training gig in Seattle (do you serve hot dogs at night?); Anstr occasionally hosts the Trail Run Across the Commonwealth in Virginia (and this is the year for another!!). The venue is simple and not that difficult to stage. Go ye forth and multiply – I may even drop in with a stack of scribbled-on coasters…
Hope to see y’all next February at C4P!!!! Happy Trails!!The Armadildo